the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
