Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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