we're blogging at a bar
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
