Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
