i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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