I love black thongs
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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