WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
