so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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