That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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