If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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