And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How does it feel to date your dad?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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