I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
