I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
