Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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