I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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