and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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