Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
