I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
