Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
