I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
