And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just pee around me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
