Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
