I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
