he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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