is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
