Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
