their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
