But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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