we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
