he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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