smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
