Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
