i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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