So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
