the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
