every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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