Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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