I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
