Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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