Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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