Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
