i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How does one acquire holy water?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize