It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
