But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We need to rekindle our bromance
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
