Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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