I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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