Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
