your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
