community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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