Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
