Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
